Craig J. Hansen

Facebook RSS Feed Contact

Sketches

Baby Talk

  “Hey, Jill, glad you could make it,” says Ellen as Jill takes the chair. “Nice place!” says Jill. “Where’s Ivy?” “Ivy will be a few minutes late. And she is bringing Thompson with her.” They both roll their eyes and then laugh. Ellen says, “Well, I’ve never met Thompson. He sounds like quite a…

Read more →

Interview with a Guide Dog

  Interviewer: So, you are a guide dog, correct? Dog: Yes, that’s right. Interviewer: Why did you choose to pursue that profession? Dog: I didn’t really choose it. My life started out straight forward enough. I had a happy puppyhood. Then I was sent off to what I thought was camp. And there, people began…

Read more →

Go Cart

He sits on a bench and tunes his guitar. It is already in tune, but he has time to kill. The taproom is almost empty. The woman behind the bar has methodically wiped the same surfaces with the same gray rag over and over. He plays in half an hour. He would like a few…

Read more →

The Run

“Well, here it is,” says Frankie. “Wow,” says Ivy, “that’s a lot of trees.” “It’s getting dark,” says Jimmy. “I hate winter, except for this, of course.” They stand for a moment, looking down. Ivy crouches and runs her mitten over the surface. “It’s covered with ice,” she says. Frankie joins her. “It sure is.…

Read more →

Lumberville Trolley

“Go ahead and take your seats, folks,” says the driver, using a handheld microphone. “And welcome aboard the Lumberville Trolley. There are some empty seats in the back. Yes, I know the seats aren’t all that comfortable. They’re all made of wood, just like the trolleys of old. And you can open those windows if…

Read more →

Interview with a Bumblebee

  “First, let me say how much I appreciate you meeting with me today. I know you are busy.”“No problem, and thanks for having me,” says the bumblebee. “So, it looks like you are a common eastern bumblebee.” “If you say so.” “Can you tell us something about yourself? You know, a brief introduction.” “Well,…

Read more →

Encounter Difference

  “Great to have you all here, our core group of managers and directors,” says the vice president. Around the long rectangular table, the mostly men and a few women look back blankly. “I have with us today Mary Miller from HR. As part of our diversity initiative, every quarter we hold a program where…

Read more →

Wrong Number

She dials, listens to the ring tone, and as soon as she hears the click that shows someone picked up, she says, “I’m leaving. I just wanted you to know that. You don’t even care. I’m walking out the door right now and I left the kitchen a mess and you don’t even care.” A…

Read more →

Milk Carton

“So, how long have you been playing that thing?” “I don’t know. Since I was a kid.” “Well, you’re pretty good.” The man who says this looms over the guitar player, looks like a biker. He’s big, leather jacketed, bandanna topped, bearded, tattooed, heavy booted, decorated with patches and pins. The biker points at the…

Read more →

Dog Talk

My two dogs sit comfortably in the living room. Jake sits on the seat of a wingback chair. He has a thick coat of mostly black fur, Border Collie bones, and a wolfish head. Zoey, a mutt, also has mostly black fur, graying in the face. She has kind eyes. Both are about 60 pounds…

Read more →

Dead Phone

I have the smart phone that can do lots of things that I don’t understand. And I forgive its quirks, as I’m sure it forgives mine. But then we have a problem. She wouldn’t charge up. In fact, I could watch her battery run down. I wasn’t doing anything unusual, and I thought we were…

Read more →

Beer Dabbler

Only in Minnesota. It’s odd enough to celebrate winter in any way and even odder to have a winter carnival, in January, outdoors. It’s an old tradition here, fueled by alcohol and hubris and, admittedly, a certain amount of hardiness. One of the more recent events has been the Beer Dabbler. It sounds like a…

Read more →