I didn’t mean to cut it that close
My sister’s wedding was a big thing
I was in the wedding party
And I was supposed to bring the ring
I live up in Minnesota
Wedding was down in Kentucky
Wedding was at 2 PM
And I overslept again.

To get there on time
Would take superpowers
But I had to go 800 miles
In less than nine hours
I had to go 800 miles
In less than nine hours.

I drove like a fool for 500 miles
When my car made a terrible noise
So I started creeping down the shoulder
South of Effingham, Illinois
A trucker slowed and waved me down
Listened to me as I swore
Your only hope is  Olney, Illinois
Ask that little girl at the auto parts store.

When I got there
She took a look
And shook her head
I have to tell you truly
That your junkie old car is dead.
I have to tell you truly
That your junkie old car is dead.

I told her about my desperate straits
She said, my, what a circumstance
Let me call a friend of mine
You might still have a chance.
She drove me to a barn
A farmer rolled open the door
This is my Piper J3 plane
Built before the second World War
Now I can get you to Lexington
You never get there by car
Though my cataracts are bothering me
And I’ve never flown that far
And I’ve never ever flown that far.

We found the church on a rural road outside of Lexington
He landed the plane on a country lane
Said, go out there and have some fun
He landed the plane on a country lane
Said, go out there and have some fun.

When he took off again
It was real loud
People came out from the church to see
There was my sister
In her wedding gown
And I could see that she was mad at me
When it was all done
She pulled me aside
She said, this is my day, you know
Figures that you’d find some way
To come down here and steal the show.

Then I was left alone
Just me and the wedding flowers
But I went 800 miles
In less than nine hours
I went 800 miles
In less than nine hours
I went 800 miles
In less than nine hours.

©2023 Craig Hansen